If only he knew the truth
by Sofia25
Summary: What happen when you are in love with one of you best friends and you think the other person doesn't feel the same about you, but the truth is that he does ?
1. Chapter 1

_First of all i want to said that i'm sorry if there is any mistake, my first language is not English, i'm from Argentina so i speak spanish. my English is not the best but i have been studing english for six years and i use the google translate just for help. So i'm really sorry if something is wrong_  
_Second it's my first story and it was origanal written in spanish and it's almost the same as this one i just changed some thing but the story is the same._  
_And last but not least, thank you so much if you are reading this, there are two more chapters and if you want me to upload them just tell me, please. And i really appreciate it if you are reading this._

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

**Logan P.O.V**

Sometimes falling in love with a friend can be a little complicated and painful, especially when you spend almost 24 hours a day with that person and even more when that person is the same sex as you.

My name is Logan and yes, I fall in love with one of my best friends, and bandmate. We spend so much time together because we are not just a band, but we also live toghether since we were 16 and move here to California to live our dream. So basically we're always together with our others 2 friends that are in the band with as well.

The person that I'm talking about is called James, he's really handsome, tall, with eyes that would kill anyone and a smile worthy of any toothpaste commercial and a perfect body but besides all his physical, qualities, the most important thing is that he is a very good friend and partner, he is really is funny, and when we're together we laughed a lot and had a lot of fun, I think he's the person who makes me laugh the most, we have a very similar sense of humor. The worst part is that i'm 100% sure that he is not gay, at least he has never given any sign of being, and what is more he has a girlfriend and they have been together for a really long time, and he seems really happy everytime he is with her and apart from that, if he were gay, i think he wouldn't like me in that way anyways, since we are a little different.

To be honest I'm really in love with him, almost since the first time I saw him fifteen years ago at school, since that day I can't get him out of my head and this is getting worse every year, even if i try to find him a defect or something that would make me to forget about him, I can't, as I said before I see him every day and that complicates things. Sometimes when I talk about him i look like a girl, but that is the effect that James has on me. I can't stop smiling like an idiot everytime i look at him or think about him.

Now we're on vacation and since i went back to my home town to visit my family las month, i didn't see him in the whole month. It was killing me no to see him i really missed him by my side, he's always a good company.

The only one in the band that i saw that month was Kendall, my best friend, another member of the band, and the only person who knows I'm gay, or bisexual, I have had girlfriends in the past and the fact that i don't have one now doesn't mean that i'm not with girls at all. Last time I saw him he had a new haircut and and well ... You know when I said it was hard to be in love with a friend i didn't say it just because he was my friend and thing could get awkward or because i was afraid he didn't feel the same about me, but because the desire to kiss him is always there and not just that but sometimes it's difficult to control my body especially my lower part, watching him with that new haircut really turned me on .

James had shorter hair, like mine but on him it was so much better, not that mine looks bad or something but on him everything is better for me, because he is really very handsome and again i look like a teenage girl talking about her love, in a nutshell he was sexier than ever.

That was not the only time that was hard for me to control myself or my body, I forgot to say before that he has an amazing voice, and i have to see him dancing and hear him singing on stage almost every day when we're on tour, of course i'm not complaining, to be honest I enjoy those times a lot. Also sometimes when we are talking, it's hard for me not to look at him more than necessary, till I realize i'm being too obvious and I have to look away.

This is going to sound silly but his eyes, his face and especially his smile hypnotize me, sometimes I'm very obvious with this but I can't control it, I believe that him and the people around us has never noticed this since nobody told me anything.

Luckily and unluckily at the same time in the last tour we were in two differents buses i was with Kendall and James was with Carlos, the other and last member on the band. I said Luckily because honestly it wouldn't be so easy to control myself if i was in a place with so little space with him, it was quite difficult when the four of us shared one bus last year although it was pretty funny, and unluckily because that means I spent less time with him, at first I thought it was going to help me to get over him, and that maybe i would forget about what i feel for him, but of course i was wrong.

I didn't said this before but it's not nice to hear the person you love talking about his girlfriend, who he loves and apparently too much, whenever he speaks about her his eyes light up with love and appreciation, of course i'm a little jealous of her but i don't hate her or anything, I don't know her so well but i know he is nice and a good person, also she makes him happy and that's what matters the most but let's be realistic sometimes it hurts and it's not easy to hear him talk about her, I always try to act casually but sometimes the urge to cry and run away and stop hearing about them is really strong, luckily most of the times Kendall realizes what it's happening to me and tries to change the subject

Kendall is a really very good friend, he's always with me when i need him, the others two too but with kendall it's a little different, he even accept me for who I am, nowadays you don't know how people can react if you tell them you are homosexual, and that's one of the reason why I don't want to tell James how I feel,, i don't think he's homophobic or something like that, it's just that as I said before you never know. And besides if I told him how I feel and he doesn't feel the same for me, things would get awkward between us and i prefer to remain only his friend than having an awkward friendship or even worst don't even talk with him.

And well this is the sad story of my life, well, I won't lie my life is not sad i'm living my dream of being a singer and have a lot of fans that love me and I have a pretty successful career and i travel around the world with my friends, visiting new places, it's true that i may not see my family and friends outside the band as often as I would like to but it's part of the job.

Returning to James, now the only thing that i can do is enjoy the moments that we're together, and try to find another person that'll make me happy and will love me, 'cause i'm sure he doesn't like me that way. We're friends, almost like brothers, but what i mean is that he obviously feels nothing more than a love of siblings or friends for me, what I want to say is that i'm sure he doesn't feel the same about me.


	2. Chapter 2

_Well this is the second chapter, Thank you so much to everyone who has read this story. hope you like this chapter. Again, sorry if there is any mistake._

* * *

Chapter 2

…Returning to James, now the only thing that i can do is enjoy the moments that we're together, and try to find another person that'll make me happy and will love me, 'cause i'm sure he doesn't like me that way. We're friends, almost like brothers, but what i mean is that he obviously feels nothing more than a love of siblings or friends for me, what I want to say is that i'm sure he doesn't feel the same about me…

And ... that was what he believed, the truth is that James really loves him, From the first moment he saw him about fifteen years ago, well not really, at that moment he wasn't aware he was gay, but he felt something really special the first time he saw him that day at school, and that thing that he felt became a strong attraction to Logan through the year. James was sure that Logan had something special, something that made James realised that he liked boys as well. If you ask him what that special thing was, he wouldn't be able to put it into words, he just knew that it was something different.

That attraction got stronger as they got to know each other and became friends, and the first time he heard him sang, he was sure he was totally in love with that boy, he realised that his voice was even more angelic, sweet and sexy when he sang.

Slowly the attraction became something else, something called love, but like Logan, James thought that his friend was only interested in women and didn't have any interest in men, what a big mistake to have believed that for so long, if they only knew the truth.

James really loved Logan but at the same time he had a girlfriend whom he loved as well, really loved, however he loved Logan even more, he was something special for James, the love he felt for his friend was stronger than any other. She made him very happy, but he still felt that something was missing and he felt really guilty every time he masturbated thinking about Logan and not his girlfreind, he felt that somehow he was cheating on her, but he couldn't dump her, first because as I said before, he truly loved her and then because let be honest she also helped him to forget about Logan for a few hours when they were together.

James was quite confused and sometimes he felt like shit especially when he was kissing her and suddenly he wanted those lips to be logan's, and the same thing happened sometimes when they were making love and those thing were happening to him more and more often, and he was a bit sick of it, but as he believed that Logan felt nothing for him, he preferred to keep living like that. Nothing was going really bad anyway, he was just a little confused and feeling a little bad with himself.

The only one who knew what he felt for his friend was one of his best friends, that person was Carlos, and also he was the only one who knew James liked boys.

Logan was the kind of guy who slept with a different girl almost every week, the knowledge of this was not really funny for James, even if he had a girlfriend, seeing Logan with another girl still hurt him, maybe if Logan had and stable relationship such as the one he had a few years ago, it would have been better for James, because he would know that that person would make Logan happy and would really love him, but that was not the case so it hurt even more.

James believed that being with his girlfriend would make him get over Logan but that's not what happened, for some reason he couldn't forget him, perhaps the fact that he saw him every day made it more difficult for James or maybe Logan was really special and he will never be able to forget him.

If James has to be honest he will say that he was really jealous of Kendall , he doesn't have any resentment towards Kendall, considering that they are also friends, but he can't help it, he's just jealous because Kendall is Logan's best friend, knows all of his secrets and spent so much time with him that he thought it was unfair, and obviously the same thing happens to Logan but with Carlos, both would kill just to be in the other's places, and be the best friend who knows all of their secrets and spend a great deal of time together. Even though they spent a lot of time together it wasn't enough for them.

Sometime thing were hard for both of them, once they were fighting over some shoes and while Logan was trying to take the shoes out of james hands, James trips over the couch loses his balance and falls into the couch, at that moment, James grabs logan, as an instinct to keep him from falling, but taking into account that James is stronger and taller than Logan, they both ended up on the couch, Logan was above James and their faces were separated by less than two inches, and you can imagine what happened, no unfortunately they didn't kiss even though both of them really want to, what really happened was that the fall caused some kind of friction them and considering what they feel for each other, what happened was really hot for both of them, They both felt the obvious bulge in the other's pants but the only thing they did was just stare at each other with wide eyes and chose not to say anything. Luckily, they were alone and no one saw what happened and after that, each went to their respective room and tried to to avoid each other for the rest of the day.

Neither said anything to anyone about what happened that day, not even to their best friends, they thought it was better to leave it there and act like if nothing had happened.

Obviously neither of the two want to believe that it had meant something, just thought it was a natural thing that would happen to anyone in that situation, that's what they wanted to believe not to raise their hopes in vain. Both decided not to think so much about the subject and let it go.

Days passed and the awkwardness that existed between them faded and everything returned to normal, it was like if nothing had really happened that day.

After what happened between James and Logan that day, things for James became more complicated, it was more difficult for him to see his girlfriend face to face, the guilt was getting bigger and bigger so he had to make a decision that wasn't so easy for him, a decision quite painful to be honest so a month before going on tour, he decided to end the relationship with his girlfriend, he believed that it was the best for him and her as well, she was a nice girl so she deserved someone that really really loved her and just her, he was tired of feeling that he was cheating on her, even though technically he didn't cheat on her he felt like he was, besides he was tired of kissing her and think about his friend, it was getting harder and harder for him not to do that, so even though it hurt him, he did what he believed was right, and after 3 years of an steady relationship with the same girl, he returned to be single again.

* * *

_There are at least two more chapters :) _


End file.
